Amazing Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
of boiling water down your throat and, presto!, the blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.
4. for high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember
to use a timer.
5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thoughts for the day: If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You
get another chance. Be really nice to your family and friends; you
never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Some people are like slinkies.....they're not really good for
anything; but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them
down a flight of stairs